Porn Valley News

Now that the Christmas season is upon us, I thought it would be a great time to publish a report from the big Halloween party in San Francisco.

What the fuck? You ask.

Logistics, I say. I have never before engaged the services of a field reporter, but since I was busy covering the Smash/Nectar Halloween Party, my homegirl Dani offered to step-up.

And step-up, she did… Eventually.

Okay. To be honest, Dani gave me this content a few weeks ago, but I’ve been busy doing what I do best. That’s just the way it is when you are a titan of society. While you people worry about your hair and cough-up blood from your stressful lives I am busy plotting your porno relief.

And yes — I realize that most of Dani’s photos make Luke Ford look like Ansel Adams, but go easy — She’s a friend and a fan of this site. And at least they give you people in the fly-over states something sexy to dream about.

God are you assholes lucky.

Dani writes: So, 2006 San Francisco exotic erotic ball… The Cow Palace was taken over by men and women of all ages, sizes and sexual preferences. Each ball attendee came dressed to impress (someone…) in their version of what “exotic and erotic” translates-into fashion wise. Erica and I considered our costumes carefully and finally ended-up dressed as the sexiest hot-dog-on-a-stick girl ever and a soccer ref that had people begging me for red cards… If they only knew thats pretty much how I dress everyday – super tall socks drive, um, certain men crazy…

By the time we arrived at the ball, things were in full swing- seriously… I didnt actually witness any live sex, but there are rumors that dirty things were happening in the dark corners of the cow palace… and in the men’s bathroom, but rest-assured, that is not true – I checked.

The highlight of my evening was the performance by Naughty by Nature. Treach and his crew brought me and the rest of the crowd right back to 1992 with the lyrical masterpiece that is ‘opp.’ I personally am a bad, bad girl and often find myself down with other peoples property, so that song gets me every time… The concert continued to excite us until the very end; Naughty by Nature played a little old school Tupac, and being the very area where Tupac rose to fame, the crowd went bananas! The surreal Devil Dolls joined the group onstage, along with some extremely hot, hot girls and reporters (heehee) handpicked by Naughty by Nature themselves.

After a quick interview with Treach and a few of the other band members, Erica and I escaped from the worlds tiniest backstage/green room armed with almost too much information about Naughty by Nature.

For all you fans – Treach loves porn, his porn star name would be Pleasure Provided. Naughty by Nature’s latest album is called IIcons and they have been working steady since ‘opp.’ What brought Naughty by Nature to the SF Exotic Erotic Ball? “The fans, the bay area fans.”

Finally, just when I thought I couldnt take anymore exotic and I was bursting with erotic – Erica and I ran into three of the sexiest guys we know. We took some quick pictures of George Clinton, hopped in the car with our friends (thank god for them because porn valley did not send a car…), and spent the rest of the night and the next day engaging in our own exotic, erotic and definitely illegal activities. I cant tell you much, mostly because I dont remember, but by 6am I was in the hot tub wearing only a wet wife beater and booty shorts… I took off the socks.

This entry was posted on Thursday, December 7th, 2006 at 10:01 am and is filed under Photos. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Responses are currently closed, but you can trackback from your own site.