Porn Valley News

According to the Chinese Zodiac, 2009 is the Year of the Ox.  Whatever the fuck that means.  In Porn Valley, 2009 was clearly the year of the porn parody.

Here is a recap of some of this year’s most interesting spoofs:

Join sex crime investigator, Dexxxter Whoregan (Nikki Rhodes) as she investigates some of Miami’s sexiest and raunchiest cases. Adult stars Lexi Belle, McKenzie Sweets, Kya Tropic, Lynx and more perform in some steamy scenes in this parody on the Showtime hit, Dexter. Fans of the original show will appreciate the attention to detail, and hardcore porn lovers will surely get off to this hot feature!

When the cameras enter the offices of Dinder Muffin, it’s up to “World’s Bust Boss”, Michelle (Ashlynn Brooke), to make sure that the hard drives are hard and the water cooler is wet. That’s why she’s not only the boss, she’s the employee of the month!  The splooge and jokes fly with Jenna Haze, Stephanie Swift, Alexis Texas, Gianna Michaels, Faye Reagan, Dahlia Denyle, Codi Carmichael, James Deen, Dane Cross, Ralph Long, Rocco Reed, and Mark Wood.

You’ll Be Hoppin’, Boppin’ and Cock Rockin’ with… Watch America’s favorite 1950′s gang go from wholesome to horny in this rockin’ sex romp!  Stars: Penny Flame, Riley Evans, Tori Black, Raquel Devine, Missy Stone, Codi Carmichael, Ally Ann, Tommy Gunn, Anthony Rosano.

Get ready for some sex, jugs, and Rock ‘N Roll — 1970′s-style! Imagine a combination of polyester pants, platform shoes, hilarious comedy, and scorching hot sex scenes! Well, that’s exactly what you’re going to get with 70′S SHOW: A XXX PARODY! Introducing sexified parodies of your favorite characters including Eric, Donna, Fez, Jackie, Laurie, Kelso, Hyde, Kitty & Red. Things get dazed & confused when this sex-crazed group of friends head to a concert. Backstage passes quickly become backstage asses as the gang tries to pick up groupies & meat the band. 70′S SHOW-A XXX PARODY, featuring Brooke Banner, Ashlynn Brooke, Missy Stone, Rachel Love, Kaci Starr, Patrick J. Knight, Anthony Rosano, Ralph Long, Pike Nelson, Steve Smith, and more!

Starring Anthony Rosano, Trina Michaels, Ryder Skye, TJ Cummings, Allison Pierce, Mia Lelani, April Blossom, Alex Sanders, Cheyne Collins. Join Vicki Chase, X, Holly Drama and Tortise as they fuck their way to the top of Hollywood! These girls aren’t your average pornstars — they use their sex appeal to get whatever they want out of their careers.

Federal agents Dana Scully (Kimberly Kane) and Fox Mulder (Anthony Rosano) are sent to investigate a series of mysterious homicides. A common thread of the murders are the occult images and symbols found at the scene of each crime. With time against them, Scully and Mulder must solve the riddle that will eventually lead them to someone or something they have never encountered before. The truth is out that “The Sex Files: A Dark XXX Parody” is the hottest movie of the year! Suspenseful, sexy, awesome! Featuring Ashlynn Brooke, Audrey Bitoni, Evan Stone, Charley Chase, and more!

When Jack loses his restaurant job the gang can’t afford rent so Chrissy picks up a night job leading Janet, Jack & the Ropers to think she’s become a hooker. Crazy, hilarious & dirty situations result in non-stop sucking & fucking as gorgeous tits, ass & pussy abound in this hardcore spoof of the classic ’70s TV show.  Stars Alyssa Hall, Brynn Tyler , Dino Bravo, Eric Swiss, James Bartholet, Jenny Hendrix, Madison Scott, Nina Hartley, Penny Flame, Ron Jeremy, Roxy Jezel, Scott Lyons,Sienna West, Tommy Gunn, Van Damage

Tons Of Hardcore Action With An All Star Cast!

Your favorite spooky family is more sexy than scary in This Ain’t The Munsters XXX! This spoof from Hustler Video features an all star cast that is to die for! Parodying the original TV show, the Munster family shows you what goes on when they’re turned on in this hilarious movie!

They may be stranded, but they’re stll horny!! Watch Gilligan and the castaways get down & dirty!! Starring Anthony Rosano, Darryl Hanah, Evan Stone, Jack Lawrence, Regan Reese, Rod Fontana, Ryder Skye, Sindee Jennings

Al fears his job is in jeopardy so Kelly gets involved in a sexually explicit blackmail scheme to get his co-worker fired. Gorgeous tits, ass and pussy abound in the Bundy household as Peg, Kelly, Al, Bud, Marcie & Steve can’t stop fucking in this dirty spoof of the classic show Tv show.  Performers: Alyssa Hall, Brittany O’Connell, Brooke Belle, Dane Cross, Emy Reyes, Eric Swiss, India Summer, Kagney Linn Karter, Kimber James (TS), Kora Cummings, Madison Scott, Nick Manning, Payton Leigh, Reno

There’s only one cure for the beautiful female patients of Naked Heart Hospital… a good dose of Penis-illin from Doctor DJ (AVN’s Male Performer of the Year, James Deen)! When handsome young & hung doctor, DJ sees that the lack of sexual healing amongst the hospital’s staff is affecting their work, he realizes that he must come up with a plan to heal everyone of their Acute Bone-itis. At Naked Heart Hospital laughter and deep penetration are surely the best medicines.New Sensations proudly presents the hilarious & filthy, Scrubs  A XXX Parody. Catch all of the XXX-Raying, Bodily Fluid Transfusing, Pussy-oscopies you can handle with All-Star cast, Ashlynn Brooke, Joanna Angel, Alexis Texas, Tori Black, Missy Stone, Thea Marie, James Deen, Shane Diesel, Jack Lawrence, and Ralph Long.

HUSTLER Boldy goes there!  Sasha Grey plays a Vulcan stricken with the “sickness”. The only way she can find satisfaction is to FUCK! Captain Kirk is more then happy to oblige by plunging his cock deep into her dripping wet pink pussy!  Taken by Kahn’s charms, Aurora Snow decides it’s best to shove his cock in her mouth. This is followed by a deliciously sexy fuck fest filled with hard pussy pounding!  Jenna Haze is a mysterious alien who is dipped in Venus fluid. Therefore, all she wants to do is FUCK! She convinces the logical and emotional Spock, to fuck her silly in the name of science!  Codi Carmichael as the sickbay nurse is stricken with the virus. The only cure is a sudden rush of Endorphins. She gets off by fucking Bones silly. His huge cock assaults her nice pink pussy!  Also stricken with the virus Jada Fire as Uhura, double teams Spock and Captain James T. Kirk. She is cured by having a cock deep in her ass, while another is ramming away at her hot wet pink pussy!

New Sensations, the studio that brought you The Office: A XXX Parody, Scrubs: A XXX Parody and Seinfeld: A XXX Parody presents 30 Rock: A XXX Parody, a side-splitting and pussy pounding take on one of the funniest shows on TV. Imagine, all of your favorite and funniest characters played by some of the hottest porn stars! With sexy and spot on performances by Ashlyn Brooke, Lisa Ann, Amy Ried, Rebeca Linares, Evie Delatosso, Lana Violet, James Deen, Herschel Savage, Ralph Long, Chris Cannon and Erik Everhard, 30 Rock: A XXX Parody is a must have for anybody who likes to laugh or cum.

Porno Dan writes: On behalf of Blue Moon Nights, we want to thank everyone who made it to the xPeeps and Smash Pictures party held for Secretary’s Day 3, directed by Kevin Moore. This was the first time we held an invite on Wednesday, and after the turn out that we had it will not be the last.

We want to thank  all the adult industry stars and personalities who made it out including: Alex Gonz, Amy Moore, Brittany O’ Connell, Cali Couture, Carmen Mynor, Celeste Star, Eve Mayfair, Erin Chase, Faye Regan, Frank Thomas, Georgia Jones, Holly Belle, Jaelyn Rose, Jay Rock, Jeff Mullen, Justice Young, Kaci Star, Kelly Devine, Lee Bang, Lilly Lovely, Nikki Kane, Nikki Rhodes, Megan Mallone, Mindy Lynn, Missy Stone, Ray Dark, Rick Garcia, Rhiannon Skye, Rucca Page, Sierra Skye, Sophie Dee, Tee Real.

Devan Cypher writes: For many across this land it was just another gloomy tax day but for residents of porn valley it was an amazing night to celebrate.

“I couldn’t believe how many people showed up for a Wednesday night to help me celebrate this release,” confesses stunned but proud director Kevin Moore. “There was a line down the block and the whole club was jammed full. It was really amazing!”

Moore, whose work has steadily seen more exposure over the last few months, received instant acclaim for this Sasha Grey vehicle first on Fleshbot and then with other critics. The rising director is still trying to wrap his head around the new attention.

“After working for years in this business it’s nice to start seeing some praise for my efforts but also a little unexpected,” Kevin admits. “I could get use to this.”

(more…)

Here you go. Photos from Jack Lawrence’s 40th Birthday Bash, Ron Jeremy’s Birthday Party, and the TightFit & STEAM parties.

What can I say? Sometimes I get a little behind…

(Pun intended)

HOLLYWOOD, CA — With the first XBIZ Hollywood Conference coming to a close earlier in the day, the 5th Annual XBIZ Awards provided a glamorous and decadent nightcap to the blockbuster show.

The star-studded awards ceremony rocked the Highlands in the heart of Tinseltown, as big name industry players from the studio and web side converged to celebrate the best and brightest companies, products and services the adult entertainment industry has to offer.

With the line to stroll across the red carpet stretching the length of the complex, an eager throng of photographers and interviewers were on hand to capture the moment. A crew from Playboy TV was a popular interview destination for many attendees.

Hostess Tera Patrick and emcee Jim Henley kept the night flowing as the awards were announced, while attendees mixed and mingled in the posh nightclub.

The anticipation of the crowd grew with each successive award and this years’ winners now can be counted among the exclusive group of XBIZ Awards winners.

HOLLYWOOD, CA — Candles flickered, drinks flowed, girls danced and The Panic Channel played to a packed house for the XFANZ Rocks Burlesque Show at the Dragonfly in Hollywood.

More than 500 fans and adult stars, directors and industry members crowded into the Dragonfly club for the formal XFANZ launch party, featuring headline act Dave Navarro on guitar for his band The Panic Channel. The event raised approximately $2,000 for ASACP and the Free Speech Coalition.

KSEX Radio’s Tony Batman greeted stars for XFANZ interviews as they walked the red carpet that led inside.

“The mainstream rock-and-roll turnout was just as good as the porn turnout,” Batman told XFANZ. “And that was fun for us porn workers to look at. Navarro rocked — his acoustic set just stopped the room.”

Navarro took the stage toward the end of the night to cheers and a blinding barrage of camera flashes. Hundreds of Navarro’s fans crowded the stage to get a look at the rock star, who wore a dark green tank top that showed off a latticework of tattoos that covered his arms.

The burlesque dancers included Sunny Lane, Lisa Ann and Jenna Presley, who danced to songs by Christina Aguilera, Justin Timberlake and Marilyn Manson, whose cover of “Tainted Love” accompanied Presley’s number.

Ann called the night a success.

“I had an awesome time,” said Ann, who hopped on a plane to Boise, Idaho., a few hours after the show for a dance engagement. “I can’t wait until XFANZ has another event.”

XFANZ Managing Director Alan Hawkins hosted the show, which also featured comedians Rick Overton, Michael Gelbart and Flip Shultz, who performed as his alter ego, Vaudeville-era funnyman Skippy Greene. All of the comics faced a rough and rowdy crowd.

“The comics did the very best they could, but it really wasn’t an appropriate venue for their style of comedy,” Hawkins said.

But the show was a hit, all the way to early Thursday morning, when Kurt Lockwood and his band, The Porn City Punks, took the stage for a killer set that included several original tracks and an excellent extended cover of “I Wanna Be Sedated.”

Bo Kenney had another killer party. Open bar, and as usual I was distracted by my beautiful friends. My ugly ones, too. Which isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Unless you’re one of those people hoping to see more pics of yourself on the internet.

Another great party from Luis DePaz. And yes, I know. It’s been a week. I’ve heard complaints from everybody. (Mostly from people who just want new MySpace photos.)

But what can I say? I’ve been busy… Shooting, editing, negotiating deals, jerking-off… I am clearly “in-demand” — But please note that I still make time for the little people. (That’s you.)

See how I roll?

I start at a seedy club in Hollywood, and end in a tiny bathroom in Chatsworth.

You cannot roll like me.